Five Heartbeats II: Fireworks
by we'll wait for our miracles
Summary: Have you ever been clueless of what to do with yourself? Have you ever had such a storm inside of you that all you can do is stare, awestruck, because all of the battling inside of you leaves you immobile? That's what I am right now.


Author's Notes!

imma be honest. i'm not happy with how this came out.

number two of five heartbeats...baku named these...she's making me awesome xD

tomorrow is the thirteenth, the day in the year i hate, and i'll be posting three and four, rape and horror, and probably suffering from depression and panic attacks.

oh, so here's my songs of the moment.

!Lucinda by Tom Waits

!Hardwood Pews by Horse Feathers

!Never Met a Girl Like You Before by Iggy Pop

so...this is T because it's just cutesy fluff for baku of the joshua x neku variety.

i fucking hate this story.

ps to bakina: yes, while writing this, i did sing afternoon delight.

Baku: SO I POSTED IT LATE, SO SUE ME. Wise may say "A leopard cannot change its stripes."

Disclaimer!

hahaha, so yeah, i do own the world ends with you

...

no i dont.

* * *

What the hell am I doing?

"Oh, c'mon Neku, lighten up! It'll be fun, I swear!"

I don't know why I let Shiki talk me into this. I hate Valentine's Day. I hate fireworks. I don't want to see somethingthat combines the two. Yet, all the same, I'm going to a Valentine's concert at Hachiko.

Sometimes I wonder if this whole "friendship" thing is really for me.

I'm not going to like this. I know I'm not going to like this. I told Shiki that I've had a bad day. I told her that all I wanted to do was stay in, away from everyone, but no.

The things you do to shut a woman up.

"I wonder who's going to be at the concert?"

"Uh..."

"I wonder if we'll see anyone else there!"

I wonder if my headphones can get loud enough to cover up the noise of all this shit.

"You'll /love/ this, Neku! I swear! You've just got to-"

Give it a chance?

"Come back here!"

It's all I can do to keep myself sane right now. Walking away from her is the only option. I may have friends now, but I still need a lot of alone time. With so many people here, it's impossible, but I just need to have silence. I know, also impossible, but the kind of silence I need is just to have no one speaking directly to me. Background noise is fine, perfect even. I just want to blend into the crowd right now, become unnoticed, a blur. That's really all I need right now. I just need...

...what the hell?

White hair. Wavy, touseled white hair.

It's him.

Have you ever been clueless of what to do with yourself? Have you ever had such a storm inside of you that all you can do is stare, awestruck, because all of the battling inside of you leaves you immobile? That's what I am right now.

Hit him. Hug him. Run away. Run to him. Scream at him. Avoid him completely. Try to figure him out. Try to figure out if you're mistaking someone else for him. Do something, Neku, just don't fucking stand there like an idiot and stare.

But that's all I can do right now.

He turns and for a mere moment, I see something true, something honest, written on his face. That face spoke of shock, loneliness, sadness, and fear. It was gone an instant later, replaced by that signature smirk of his.

"Ah...fancy seeing you here, Neku..."

Don't just stand there speechless, you fool.

I seem to have lost the ability to react.

"I have to be going, though, but it was nice to see you..."

Oh no, Joshua, you can't run from me this time.

He tried to leave, tried to walk away from me, but my body finally remembered how to move. Without even thinking, I'm grabbing his wrist, grabbing it hard, refusing to let him go.

"You're not leaving me again."

I don't know why I'm doing this. Do I want answers? Revenge? To harm him?

...the truth is, I just really, really missed him.

"Neku, I really have-"

"Bullshit. Come on."

I know that if he really wanted to get away, he could. He's the Composer. He could do what I expected him to do, just disappear from my life in an instant, but he didn't. He stayed.

It's really just what I needed right now.

When I finally stopped, finally released him, it's nothing like I imagined this would be. This is all downcast looks and awkward glances, not confrontation, not friendship. Just bad.

"...I need to go."

It's not like I could stop him. So I'll let him keep walking and just hope he might return.

"I missed you, you idiot."

I didn't really expect him to stop when I said that, yet he did.

"I'm not going to yell at you or ask questions about what you did...none of that. I just want to be your friend again. I missed you. So...don't go."

"...I suppose I could stay a little bit longer."

This was really all I wanted. To sit with him and talk. Talk about what was going on, what we had missed in each other's lives, about old times. Not about what he did. Not about betrayal. All I wanted with him was a happy day for once.

Before we knew it, the concert was over.

I don't regret coming here tonight, not anymore. I got him back, Joshua, the only boy who ever meant anything to me. Meant more to me than just a friend. I suppose it was meant to happen, though. To see the person you care about the most on Valentine's Day, just like in some sappy romance story.

I found him.

Turns out he missed me too.

Words had become useless at this point. It was all unspoken now. Everything had become movements, glances, touches. I grabbed his hand and he smiled. The noises in the background had become the silence, that beautiful white noise I had desired earlier. He moved in closer and I was more than happy for him to do so.

We kissed. The fireworks went off.

...no, I mean that literally. I'm not using some shitty love cliche, the fireworks show started right then.

When I pulled away, we were both smiling. We were both finally together, no more secrets to be kept. Everything had finally fallen into place.

"I guess I can stay for the night."

And those were just the words I needed to hear.

-fin-


End file.
